Wake Up Call

Ahhh, hmmm.

Not exactly a common post type on this blog.

So, first off: I’ve graduated. About, around in March or February. And it’s been more than three or so months since. I did go apply for the local universities here but this year doesn’t seem to be my turn to get into any. Yet.

My dad says that I should make a move then, from my stagnant state of nothingness. Which is true. To say I’ve been complacent in my work, writing and life is putting it mildly. Keeping it short here, let’s just say I’m not the most independent of people and that when push comes to shove it’s the only time when I get my shizz together.

It’s been a struggle for me to be honest. You don’t break habits so easily. It’s become a habit to not read my books, to not write diligently and to not do something. I like being able to laze around, who doesn’t? But he’s right that I can’t be doing that every single day of my youth.

I’m past my teens. I’m watching my friends and ex-friends making something of their lives. Part-time jobs, hobbies and even military service. Meanwhile, here I am.

Dreams don’t happen just by wishing them; dreams don’t happen just by living out reality.

One of my favourite Kpop artiste, Moon Jongup once said this about his view on youth:

“Youth is the time for us to chase after our dreams, but there may also be instances where you become disappointed after achieving your goals. If being in our teens is when we figure out our calling, wouldn’t being in our twenties be a time where we look at our dreams and reality simultaneously?” 

My response? It’s so easy to say that our youth is when we are looking at our dreams and reality at the same time…but reality is such a scary thing, that I end up dreaming all the time…

It’s a quote that hits me hard though. I’m still in limbo about what I want to do and what I have to do.

Mmmm, I hope I do find a way to look at them both. I don’t want to live a life of being in hindsight again.

The Table of Procrastination

*snorts*

So I spent a good two to three days working on what I call a ‘comprehensive table of all my stories that I have thought of, planned on, thought of writing and writing on’. I normally make a lot of lists of what I write on (I LOVE LISTS) but at the rate I’m going at with my imaginings and dreaming it’s too many to do justice with just a list.

Tl;dr I procrastinated my writing again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I do feel that it’s a wake up call for how I SHOULD START WORKING ON A SINGLE STORY AND NOT MAKE ANY MORE!

This table by the way, takes up two-and-a-quarter pages on MS Word. Oh my…

I’ll gladly put it up here or somewhere like on my Tumblr. I wonder if there’s someone willing to compare stories with me?

There and Back Again (Once More into the Fold)

I haven’t read a book in a long time. I would probably say it’s been a year or two, since I recall picking up Mark Lawrence’s Prince of Thorns to read and finish; but admittedly, I will say it’s been a long six years.

The hiatus stemmed from the fact that I had two major exams going on: my STEs (Sijil Thanawi Empat) and my GCE O Levels. That’s two full years of abstaining myself from reading fiction. It was definitely a struggle; I had a shelf full of books at my disposal at home and a lot of newly bought ones at the time! But alas, studies came first (and bore a sour fruit I will always remember).

It’s only midway through 2016 but I count it as the sixth year of my hiatus. It ended today.

Inheritance by Christopher Paolini was bought by me when it first came out in 2011, one of said new books mentioned earlier. I’ve only just started reading it today and I am GLORIOUSLY speed reading through it. I’ve forgotten that feeling of reading when imagining the words in my mind. But after my time dabbling in writing (the second reason for my long hiatus, I wanted to test my writing capabilities too), I’ve been picking up on an authors’ writing style too.

Maybe it came from my time reading online writers’ works, since most have a more poetic and descriptive style of writing. Short stories or ‘oneshots’ online have a tendency to feature that; longer and chaptered ones would have these too but at certain points only. Paolini, from the way he writes has this flair in his descriptions that make his work a joy to read: detailed enough to picture the whole scene step by step, a straightforward view of his story.

Wah, I really do miss blogging on here. I hope to start it up again, same with my reading.

Here’s to more future reads and better books to come!