Not exactly a common post type on this blog.
So, first off: I’ve graduated. About, around in March or February. And it’s been more than three or so months since. I did go apply for the local universities here but this year doesn’t seem to be my turn to get into any. Yet.
My dad says that I should make a move then, from my stagnant state of nothingness. Which is true. To say I’ve been complacent in my work, writing and life is putting it mildly. Keeping it short here, let’s just say I’m not the most independent of people and that when push comes to shove it’s the only time when I get my shizz together.
It’s been a struggle for me to be honest. You don’t break habits so easily. It’s become a habit to not read my books, to not write diligently and to not do something. I like being able to laze around, who doesn’t? But he’s right that I can’t be doing that every single day of my youth.
I’m past my teens. I’m watching my friends and ex-friends making something of their lives. Part-time jobs, hobbies and even military service. Meanwhile, here I am.
Dreams don’t happen just by wishing them; dreams don’t happen just by living out reality.
One of my favourite Kpop artiste, Moon Jongup once said this about his view on youth:
“Youth is the time for us to chase after our dreams, but there may also be instances where you become disappointed after achieving your goals. If being in our teens is when we figure out our calling, wouldn’t being in our twenties be a time where we look at our dreams and reality simultaneously?”
My response? It’s so easy to say that our youth is when we are looking at our dreams and reality at the same time…but reality is such a scary thing, that I end up dreaming all the time…
It’s a quote that hits me hard though. I’m still in limbo about what I want to do and what I have to do.
Mmmm, I hope I do find a way to look at them both. I don’t want to live a life of being in hindsight again.